Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Mother of All Finals

So the students had their Bible Memory Final last week, and I must say, they did jaw droppingly well. To continue with the tradition of writing something on the back of their Bible Memory sheets, I had them create a horror story based on a breakfast cereal. Here are some of the ones that I can't wait to see produced:
One day, Lucky was walking along when he was grabbed by the children. They tied Lucky to a chair and shot his shoulder, then asked him the location of the Charms. He refused to tell them, so they shot him again in the kneecap. They asked him again, but he still refused to tell them. The children cut off his ear. Lucky screamed, but there was no one around to hear. The children then asked him for a third time, and this time he told them.

The Charms were behind a magical waterfall.

They then killed Lucky.

Something a little 24-ish about that one.

One time this kid ate radioactive Raisin Bran and it ate his innards because it was taking revenge on the kid for eating him. The kid died.

No joke. Just kidding, it is. Just kidding, it's too scary and serious to be a joke. It is more like mythical folklore. Just kidding, it's not because there is no dragon. Just kidding, the kid was a dragon. Just kidding, he doesn't exist. Just kidding, he does exist in my story.

You can see why I like this one so much.

Once there was a boy named Raul. Raul loved cereal! He constantly ate cereal, he worshipped cereal, he even bathed in cereal. He prayed to the cereal gods night and day. The cereal started to consume his life. He was so enveloped by cereal he soon learned how to control cereal. He very quickly gained power. Soon he was the dictator of Mexico and ruled his people with an iron fist. He used Froot Loops to hang people.

Wheaties -- The Breakfast with Champions

Bobby Joe was a star basketball player. He was so good that Wheaties invited him to put his picture on their box. He was dropped off by his buddies and they left. After his picture was taken, they took him into a dark, dark room. They said they were going to show him how Wheaties are made.

He was never heard from again. Some say he fell down some stairs and it ended his career. Others say he moved to Guatemala for no reason. The real story? They don't make Wheaties out of wheat. Why do you think they have pictures of athletes on the cover?

Soylent Green, errr...I mean, Wheaties, is made of people!!!


1 comment:

Anna Steere said...

Please tell me the radioactive Raisin Bran student wrote "JK...JK...JK" over and over ad nauseum on his final. Oh, how we English teachers love (hate) this exclamation.