Sunday, December 7, 2008

A Brief History of Twilight

For those of us who are not teenage girls, a bookstore clerk, or a lover of all that is dark, sappy, and on sale at Hot Topic, then you might be wondering, "What's all this hub-bub about Twilight? It's everywhere! One can't even walk by a brooding horde of pseudo-goth girls without hearing coveted whispers about someone named Edward. What's the deal?"

Good question. You're a bright young(old) man(woman). Let me explain the basic story of Twilight. With puppets.

Got it? Good. No? Okay...Teenage Bella moves to a new city and meets some strange/tormented guy, Edward (think Dillon from 90210...except with even better hair) who turns out to be a vampire. Don't worry. He doesn't eat/drink humans, only animals. So he's a good lifeblood-stealing, cute-puppy-killing vampire. Feel better?

By the way, did they really think that no one would notice the obvious inspiration for Edward? Come on! It's the story of little Eddie Munster's teenage years!

Anyway, there's another vampire guy...yadayadayada...hates Edward...goes after Bella...insert fight...Bella's saved...some reference to never ending love...and then millions of teenage girls are dreaming/wishing/hoping for undead members of the opposite-sex to fight over them.

It's a lot like Grease-meets-Lost-Boys-meets-Hannah-Montana-meets-Interview-with-a-Vampire-meets-Pride-and-Prejudice.

The story is based on a series of books of the same name. A point needs to be made here: These are massive books. Tolkien would be ashamed at the size of his piddly little stories that he wasted a large part of his life writing, compared to the epic size, scale, and weight of these books. It takes a team of seasoned loggers a fortnight to gather enough wood to supply the paper needs for just one copy of Twilight. It dwarfs any Harry Potter book, let me tell you.

I guess that's why the girls carrying (clutching might actually be more accurate) the books always look so sad, so lost in deep, hopeless thought. It's because their chiropractor has just warned them that if they don't lighten their load (ie stop reading Twilight), then their spine will fuse together and curve like a Christmas candy cane. Oh, the tough choices facing our youth today.


Wednesday, December 3, 2008

What happens when you don't feel like writing...?

You post a video! It's short, fun to watch, and makes me wish for a warm fall day to ride in.


Tuesday, December 2, 2008

"God Is Most Glorified In You When You Are Most Satisfied In Him In The Midst Of Loss Not Prosperity"

I know you have probably have seen this before but I thought I would post it because it deserves to be watched whenever you are down, lost, frustrated, etc. about the abuses done in the name of Christ.

[Sorry for the poorly crafted sentence...thoughts seem to come more quickly than grammar rules]